I was born in India and moved here when I was 6. I was a late walker and talker, I actually didn't talk or walk until I was 4. Since I was late with everything, my learning process, of course, had to start late. I grew up learning both the Indian and American cultures simultaneously. The first thing that I didn't understand was how my mom had a "job". When I was asked what my mom does, I replied, "nothing, she stays home all day." When my teacher told me that being a housewife was a full time job, I thought she had lost it. The first 5 years of my life, I was used to the men in the house working and the women staying home to cook and clean, it was the way it worked in India. Slowly but surely I learned that staying home and cleaning is very important and my mom actually works really hard, especially when she has to put up with three guys (me, my dad, and my younger brother). I learned to appreciate my mom a lot more because I moved here. I can say this because even though India is becoming more democratic, there are still bits of the old traditions reflected in the daily way of life. For example, my guy cousins all work while their wives stay home and they aren't even allowed to want to work outside of the home. If I was to still live there, I'm pretty sure my mentality would be like so.
Having grown up in NY for so long, I am very used to speeding through everything. This past summer, I went to Quebec for a week, and it did not feel anything like a week; 1 hour there felt like 5 hours here. Everyone took their time for everything, from driving to walking to eating. People were very laid back about everything and very very very generous. I remember stopping at a no standing zone here and I got a ticket, over there, the officer actually apologized for asking me to move because I was parked at a no standing zone. I had never experienced people being so kind and I actually had to come back early because I felt as though it was a conspiracy, why else would anyone be so kind when they didn't even know me? Although it scared me, I definitely enjoyed the time spent there.
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I am a Chinese American and I see the same thing you see in India. Many women are expected not to have jobs and be a housewife. As a woman, I feel that I shouldn't have to be at home to clean and take care of children but I guess that is just my American mentality because I was born in America. But as for the Quebec experience, I had a similar experience in California. The people there were really nice and patient. Everything was more slow paced.
ReplyDeleteHi,I thought the part of your teacher losing it when she told you your mom had a full time job so funny! I feel the same way thought sometimes in my family, I was raised in a very west indian culture so the women always cook, clean, and do laundry. It is interesting because my mom always had to work as well as do everything else for example the chores in the house. I most definitely think that because my mom had to work and do house work I go against the ideal in my life. Culturally I feel like I will be the generation that changes this system because I refuse to be the only one cooking cleaning and working so when I do have my own family chores will have to be split evenly.
ReplyDeleteIn response to your trip to Quebec, I had the same experience in Barcelona in January everything is soooooo super slow that I felt like I was losing my min. My friends and I knew that we were from NYC because at every cross walk we would cut in front of everyone to make sure we were in front lol. I definitely think people in Europe are so much nicer and calmer then those in the U.S. I reallly enjoyed reading your post.
Sharlene Bisram
I completely understand what your talking about because I am also from India. Whenever i visit India my aunt stays home and isn't expected to work, while my uncle went to work for the entire day. And I know what you mean with your Quebec experience. I have relatives in Kentucky and whenever we visit them, everything there seems so much more calm and peaceful.
ReplyDeleteComing from Montenegro, I had the same reaction you had when I was also told that being a housewife was a full time job. I grew up with my mother and aunts staying home and watching over the kids while my father and uncles went to work. I'm so used to the traditional culture that I even question whether or not my wife should work. Also your experience and Quebec relates to the time I went back home for a summer. Everyone has so much time, that time management to them is somewhat of a joke.
ReplyDeleteWomen in America have come a long way since the stay at home housewife. They have become a true part of the labor force in America. I beleive other countries will soon follow suit and take after the Americans. The men in other countries will soon realize the oppurtuinites women could bring to the workplace.
ReplyDeleteI think every culture has time that people doesn't show respect to women. I came from China and I know people there have the same tradition like you did in India. Most of women work at home at old time. But as the time goes on, things would change. It's just a matter of time.
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